Swapped at birth: Carlos Tevez and Peter Oborne

Manchester City's £250k/week Argentine work-horse and goal-threat, Carlos Tevez, made backpages this week by deciding he preferred to stay on the bench when called upon to help fight back from a 2-0 deficit during a Uefa Champions League group stage match against Bayern Munich. The act has been described as 'selfish' and as 'a distraction from the teams shortcomings', increasing speculation of an impending transfer.

Carlos Tevez prefers to sit on the sidelines in Europe

Peter Oborne prefers to sit on the sidelines out of Europe

The Telegraph's flatulent Thatcherite political commentator and star columnist, Peter Oborne, made waves this week when he decided to gratuitously insult European Commission representatives as 'idiots' and the 'Guilty Men' who are responsible for the Eurozone crisis during a round of TV (Newsnight clip) and other media appearances, which coincided with the publication of his similarly-titled pamphlet, supporting calls to end European integration.

Two peas from the same self-serving pod!

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Obviously the Union of European Football Associations is completely immune to any form of administrative or institutional corruption whatsoever and operates absolutely perfect competitions with a completely level playing-field offering perfectly equal access and opportunity to all, and equally obviously the European Union is an evil unaccountable institution completely ridden with corruption and maladministration which is unsuited to the needs of the separate economies of 27 member states.

We get sweet FA, obviously

- It's like comparing apples and oranges.

Not like Europe, obviously

- See, even their logos are circle and square!